


Shattered Glass

by girlalmighty22



Category: Kimi ni Todoke | From Me to You
Genre: Bullying, Death, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, High School, Love, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-22 08:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6072055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlalmighty22/pseuds/girlalmighty22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuronuma Sawako is a high schooler who has the misfortune of looking exactly like Sadako from The Ring. Even though she tries her hardest to be kind to everyone, she keeps having to face her classmates harassment. She tries to keep a smile on her face, but everything is starting to become too much. Just as she is about to give up on ever making a friend, she meets Kazehaya Shota. He gives her the strength to keep fighting, but will it be enough?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Be My Savior

Growing up, I was taught that any awful situation could be fixed with kindness. It didn’t matter if someone disliked you, or if it was their goal in life to make you miserable. As long as you never retaliated, everything would be okay. 

I gave all of my tormentors many second chances. I didn’t want to believe that there were people in the world capable of having no regard for the feelings of others, because then my entire life I would have been living a lie. It would feel as if my world were a stained glass window shining brilliantly in the sun, and suddenly the sky turned black and a tornado broke the glass and threw the shards into my flesh. 

No matter how hard I would try to blend into the brown walls of my school’s hallways, I always managed to attract negative attention. Every single one of my footsteps seemed to sound an alarm in my classmates heads. I couldn’t walk past a single person without hearing the usual remarks.

_ Stay away from that girl, she speaks to the devil.  _

_ She isn’t as pure as she makes herself out to be.  _

_ I can’t believe that the principal lets Sadako from The Ring attend our school. _

My first year of high school continued down this upsetting path, and my self esteem plummeted to record lows. Even though I tried to look approachable, my appearance kept everyone at arms length. I didn’t want to be known as “the girl who looks like Sadako” but my classmates constant bullying made me look like her. I kept my long, black hair in front of my face in order to shield myself from the disparaging looks, and I would mutter under my breath because my words were given no importance.I began to lose all hope of ever making a friend, until I met Kazehaya. 

The day I met him is a memory that I will always hold close to my heart. It was the first day of my second year of high school, and the hallways were especially packed. Clutching a map of the school with one hand and my textbooks in the other, I tried to weave past everyone undetected. When I was only a few feet away from my next class, I saw a leg outstretch out of the corner of my eye. Before I knew it my textbooks went flying, and my face collided with the ground. I felt pain shoot into my nose instantly, and I hoped that I hadn’t broken it.  

The shock of my fall was so disorienting that it took me a few seconds to realize that I was being pulled up off of the ground by the collar of my white uniform shirt, now covered in red splotches. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are,” spat a petite, blonde haired girl named Kurumi. It was almost funny that she didn’t know who I was, because I had every single class with her last year.

“I…um…,” I trailed off when I looked at her face. Her left eye was swelling and her mascara had smeared across the lid. 

“Answer me when I talk to you!” Kurumi’s voice boomed down the halls, and within seconds every single student vanished into their classrooms. I was so startled by her yell that I couldn’t stop my voice from quivering. 

“M-my n-n-name is S-s-s-aw-w-ako.” A mixture of sweat and blood rolled down my face, and I could taste it on my lips. I desperately attempted to search my mind for a possible reason as to why this girl was so angry at me. 

In that instant, her delicate features twisted into a look of pure disgust. It was as if I wasn’t even worthy of breathing the same air as her. She then looked at me with a mischievous gleam in her eyes when she realized who I was.

“Don’t you mean, Sadako?” 

My breath hitched in my throat, and I furiously shook my head in protest. A devilish grin spread across the girls lips because she knew that she had hit my weak spot. She tightened her grip on my shirt collar and slowly pulled me in closer to her face.

“Listen up,  _ Sadako _ . I’ve heard that you supposedly curse those that cross you, and use black magic against them. Well,” she said while releasing her hold on my collar, “I think that’s a load of shit.” Kurumi smiled at me and her eyes crinkled, her entire face softening. Right when I thought the situation was resolved, she leaned back and punched me in the eye. I fell to the ground and tried to get away from her, but she crouched down and backed me into a corner as if I were a rabid animal. The entire time her smile never faltered.

“That’s payback for throwing your textbook at me. An eye for an eye,” she said while pointing to both of our swollen eyes.

“I didn’t throw my textbook at you! I got tripped and it fell out of my hands,” I sobbed while clutching my eye and nose. All I wanted was for this hell to be over, praying that my loss of blood would make me black out. 

“You know what I hate, Sadako? I really hate liars, and you are the biggest liar I’ve ever met. It’s pathetic how you spread rumors about yourself so you seem terrifying.” 

I tried to look away from her, but she grabbed my face and forced me to meet her eyes. Her manicured nails dug into my cheeks while she whispered, “Newsflash honey, the only thing anyone at this school should be afraid of is me.” 

She threw my head back, and it smashed against the wall with a crack. My body laid crumpled on the dirty tiled floor, and I could barely keep my head up.

Kurumi giggled at my suffering as she swung her right leg back. Just as it was about to connect with my stomach, I heard the most beautiful voice.

“Kurumi! Stop!”

Within seconds Kurumi’s entire demeanor changed. The leg she was about to use to kick me in the stomach was now placed gently on the ground. The hands that had given me several injuries were now clasped together in front of her. “Oh! Hello Kazehaya! How are you,” she asked him with an innocent look on her face. I had no idea that it was possible to go from menacing bully to cute princess so easily. That alone terrified me more than any of the abuse Kurumi had put me through.

She sauntered over to Kazehaya and looped her arm through his, trying to guide him away from the mess she had made. He gently pushed her off of him and rushed over to me, cradling my body in his arms.

Kurumi’s mouth fell open and tears started to well up in her light brown eyes. Kazehaya’s look of disappointment and horror sliced through her cool exterior, and left her exposed. A part of me even felt bad for her because the one person whose opinion meant everything to her, now saw her for the monster she was. 

She hyperventilated as she ran away from the both of us, leaving a trail of her sickly sweet perfume. 

As Kazehaya continued to hold me, I understood how he was able to easily bring Kurumi to her knees. I had just met him, and I was already melting into his arms.

Dark spots entered my vision, and for a second I panicked. I didn’t know what was happening, and I looked to Kazehaya for reassurance. He took one of his hands and gently caressed my cheek with the backs of his fingers while giving me a warm smile. I took that as a sign that I would be alright, so I fluttered my eyes closed and allowed the darkness to wash over me. 


	2. Sweet Angel

I can't fool myself. I knew I wouldn't be able to go with the flow and ignore the worries that are always in the back of my mind. These horrifying possibilities swirl around in my skull, and they take on a life of their own at night. That is one of the many reasons why the dark used to always terrify me as a child. Between you and me, it still scares me to this day. I hate not knowing what is lurking in the shadows, and just feeling utterly useless. While unconscious, I kept asking myself why I let this happen. I had succumbed to a sweet angel’s charm and let it pull me into my own personal hell. 

My back was lying on a cold, wet tile floor that appeared to stretch on and on with no end. The air was so chilling that it felt like my lungs were being sliced open with each breath. My eyes darted around the room I found myself in, but the only “decoration” was a ragged crack running from the ceiling of the left wall all the way to the floor. To make matters worse, the entire room smelled like Kurumi’s intoxicating perfume. It felt like my brain was turning to mush from smelling the fake flowers and cheap candy that the perfume must've been made from. When all hope seemed lost, I started to think about the angel I had previously spoken to. Their shining smile and flushed cheeks gave me the fuel I needed in order try and get up and find my way out. 

I was only able to sit up for half a second until swirls of thorns lunged at my arms and legs and held me down with inhuman strength. The more I struggled, the tighter the thorns grip was on my limbs. Tears rolled down my cheeks and splattered onto my tiled prison. I lied there, accepting my fate, until I heard a voice.  
“Sawako? Are you alright?”

Then the most beautiful thing happened. The crack in the wall burst open and streams of golden light flooded into the room, burning the thorns off of my body and setting me free. The entire room disappeared into a bright white light. 

I was able to open my eyes just enough to see that I wasn’t in that hell room, but actually lying down in the nurse’s office of my school. My vision was going in and out of focus, and at first all I saw was a tall figure sitting at the foot of my bed. After a few drunken seconds, I realized that it was Kazehaya.

“Oh, I'm sorry that I woke you. I turned on the light so I could see if you were okay.” Kazehaya looked at the ground and twiddled his thumbs, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact because his embarrassment was quickly spreading across his face.

I mustered up all the energy I had and croaked, “Kazehaya…” He snapped his head up and looked at me, his eyebrows slightly furrowed with worry.  
“Thank you...for caring...my sweet angel…” 

I could see the blood start to flow into Kazehaya's face. His skin was so red that I thought he was going to fall out of his chair and die. His pupils were slowly getting bigger, and he kept stuttering incoherent words.

A part of me enjoyed the effect I had on him, but I didn't understand the ramifications of what I had said to Kazehaya until I woke up from my stupor again. My eyes closed and I drifted into a peaceful sleep, my body swaying back and forth in the clouds.  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
The following day at school, I felt like my normal self again. The only problem was, everyone was treating me like I was more radioactive than normal. It definitely didn't help that I had a new accessory today, a shiny black eye. People that would usually slightly nod at me in the hallways would now turn and run in the opposite direction and never look back. I tried to not let it get to me, but I couldn't help it. I pushed up the sleeves of my uniform jacket and vigorously scratched at my jagged skin.

I turned the corner of the hallway and I bumped into the one person that I wanted to avoid for the rest of my life. 

“It wasn't enough for you to just beat me up? Now you have to shove me in the hallway?” 

Kurumi wiped tears from her eyes and her posse of clones all tried to console her. 

As she wiped the tears, I noticed that some make up was coming off of her face. The “injuries” she had were painted on, except for our matching black eyes. I was planning on ignoring it and trying to continue with my day, but I was in the splash zone. 

A classmate of mine named Ayane snuck up behind Kurumi and winked at me before she unscrewed her bottle of water. Within seconds she threw the water onto Kurumi and I saw her “bruises” and “cuts” wash away, along with any dignity she had left.

Ayane dropped the bottle and pursed her lips while saying, “That’s what you get for not telling me what toner you use, stupid bitch.” 

At this point, we had attracted a crowd. No one had ever heard someone disrespect Kurumi. I stood in complete awe of the girl who had unintentionally defended me. I tried to hide my happiness by wiping the water off my face that had missed Kurumi. I made sure that my hands were covering the smile that wanted to peek through. The cluster of students all looked at me expectantly, waiting for my black eye to wash away as well. Once they realized that it was still intact, the murmurs instantly began.  
Kurumi looked around at our classmates with a face of defeat, and for a split second, I saw the humanity that Kazehaya had brought out in her only a few days prior. Her self -reflection was cut short when she saw Ayane throw her head back and laugh, a few tears welling in her eyes. 

“What do you think you’re laughing at, WHORE?” Kurumi’s good eye started twitching and her hands were shaking in fists. She began to open her mouth to make another snotty remark, but her skin was pallid as Ayane slowly walked up to her. A hush fell in the hallway, and the only sound was of Ayane’s shoes clicking against the grimy tile while she walked. 

The upper right corner of her mouth turned up and she said, “You know, I think it's adorable that you called ME the whore when we all know the true reason behind you faking those injuries.” Ayane gingerly held Kurumi’s face by her chin and sweetly said, “Oh, don't worry. I'll make sure to have Kazehaya deliver his condolences.”  
Ayane let go of Kurumi and blew her a kiss while sauntering over to grab my hand. I was nervous to follow her because she had just acted like a thick lipped snake. However, she had now shed her vengeful skin and was showing me the acceptance of a friend. I decided that I had nothing to lose, especially considering the fact that even the school janitor rejected my small talk. A girl can only handle being left alone with the trash cans so many times. While shuddering at the stench from my memories, I clasped my hand into Ayane’s and let her take the lead.

She took me to the girl’s bathroom and said that we needed to talk. She pulled out an enormous make up kit and started reapplying her mascara in the mirror while asking me my name. I was too mesmerized to answer at first, but once I told her my name she gave me a soft smile and a nod. Tears poured down my face because I realized that it was the first time that anyone had actually asked me what my real name was. 

The bathroom door slammed open and Ayane jumped and stabbed herself in the eye with her mascara wand. She let out a shrill yelp as a tall and strangely intimidating girl walked over with huge steps that made her feet smash against the ground. 

“HAHAHAHA YANO-CHIN! That's what happens when you do your girly crap!” The Amazon rested her arm on Ayane’s head while continuing to bellow out laughs that resembled the roar of a lion. 

Ayane shoved her off and went back to primping her make up. While reapplying lip gloss, Ayane grumbled, “The huge dork that just burst into the room is Chizu. She’s my pet dog.”

“Yano-chin why are you so cold to me,” Chizu whimpered. Her eyes softened and she stuck out her bottom lip. I thought it was strange how a girl that is at least 5’10 managed to make herself look like a small child. 

Ayane rolled her eyes at Chizu and then fixed her gaze on me. Her eyes narrowed and it looked like she was trying to analyze my mind for some kind of information.

“Yano-chin, why do you have your scheming face?"

“Shut up Chizu and let me work my magic.” 

Ayane came over to where I was and circled me like I was her prey.

“Sawako, why does Kurumi have a problem with you? Was she the one who gave you that black eye?”

I looked down at my shoes and tapped the ends of my feet together. I mumbled under my breath. “You called me Sawako…”

Ayane stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me with a sorrowful expression. “Am I...the first person to actually call you by your name?” 

I was about to tell her that she was, but then I remembered the visit that Kazehaya had paid to me after my fight with Kurumi. I felt like I was going to fall over and slowly melt into a puddle. I quickly turned from Ayane to prevent her from seeing, but I could feel her knowing eyes burning holes into the back of my skull.

“Hehehehe…,” Ayane grabbed my shoulders and whipped me back around. “Who called you Sawako first?” The big beaked duck had turned into the Joker with that sinister smile, and I was willing to say anything just to get her to stop making that horrifying face.

“It was Kazehaya...he came to see me in the nurse’s office a few days ago. And yes, Kurumi did give me my black eye. She decided to pick a fight with me and I don’t know why, but I guess I owe her. If she hadn’t beat me up, I wouldn’t have met Kazehaya. I doubt I will see him again though. He probably only came to see me because he pitied me…I mean-” My tangent was cut short because Ayane had covered my mouth with her hand. Her face looked even more mischievous than it had a few minutes ago, and I could see Chizu smiling uncomfortably out of the corner of my eye.

“What if I told you that I could arrange for you and Kazehaya to meet again,” Ayane asked. She motioned with her free hand for Chizu to come over, and once she did, Ayane formed a group huddle. 

“Kazehaya is an old friend of ours. We were going to go to Ryu’s baseball game with him after school today. How about you join us?” Ayane then hit Chizu on the back as a way to signal for her to agree. 

“Oh, uh, yeah! You should come with! You’ll get to see me destroy Ryu at our hotdog eating competition after the game!” Chizu got up from the huddle and stood proudly.  
Ayane slapped herself on the forehead because Chizu had missed the entire point behind why she wanted me to go to the game. 

The final bell rung, and I could hear people flooding into the hallways again so they could go home. On any other day, I would be among one of the first to have left campus. Thankfully, today was different. Even though I had just met Ayane and Chizu, I felt a strong connection with them. I hoped that one day hanging out after school with classmates would become my new normal.


	3. Burst

Grass tickled my legs as I looked up at the pale blue sky and counted each of the birds that flew past. The afternoon sun was shining on my skin, and the wind gently blew my hair as I looked back at the baseball game. I've never cared for sports, but I wanted to make an effort because of how kind Ayane and Chizu were to have invited me. Ayane told me that Kazehaya used to play baseball, and I had convinced myself that if I seemed interested enough in the game, he would fall in love with me. 

He was sitting between Chizu and I, but his entire body was angled away from mine. Chizu had begun telling him about the ramen she had the night before in excruciating detail while grabbing his shoulders and shaking him violently out of excitement. As much as I like Chizu, I wished she would stop talking and give me a chance to try and spark up a conversation with Kazehaya. The only problem was that the thought of speaking to him made me feel nauseous. 

I reached for a leaf on the ground and absentmindedly pulled it apart while looking at the back of Kazehaya’s head. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and stroke his fluffy hair, but I wasn't emotionally ready for him to recoil at my touch. As I continued to stare at him, I saw Ayane’s face peek over Chizu’s shoulder. Our eyes met, and she gave me a knowing look. 

She nudged Chizu with her elbow and said, “Hey, I forgot to tell you that Joe was talking smack about you and said that you are too weak to beat Ryu at the hot dog eating competition.” 

She knew exactly how to push Chizu’s buttons because her face lit up with fury as she jumped up and landed with an angry thud. “I’LL SHOW THAT BITCH WHO THE WEAK ONE IS.” Chizu stomped away, and with each step I could hear her yell, “WHERE IS THAT FUCKER!!” 

Kazehaya laughed at the scene Chizu had caused, and I was so entranced by the way his nose would crinkle that I almost missed Ayane say that she was going to go to the bathroom. I knew that she wouldn't be back anytime soon because as she walked away she gave me her signature smug duck lip face. 

I suddenly felt Kazehaya's body heat extremely close to my own, and I didn't know what to do except stare off into space and hope that he couldn't hear how fast my heart was beating. As the seconds ticked by, I knew I was wasting the opportunity that Ayane had given me. I appreciated the push, but I still wasn't ready for these sorts of emotions. I had been walked all over too many times to allow myself to feel such a deep connection with another person. I tried to tell myself that falling for Kazehaya would only make me suffer more, but I had grown addicted to the pain. I had the scars to prove it. I was already in love with him, and there was nothing I could do about it. 

While I thought about the millions of ways everything could go wrong, his voice broke through the cloud of sadness that had begun to engulf me. His pinky was just barely grazing my own when he asked, “How come I've never seen you around before a few days ago?” I had no idea how to answer that without sounding pitiful, so I painted on a smile and said that I was usually busy after school. He frowned, sensing the lie. He gently placed his hand over my own and said, “No, really. You just seem very nice, and I want to know why we didn't become...um… friends sooner. I mean, you called me an angel… Nobody I know has ever called me something that sweet before.” 

I tried to force myself to laugh, but each “ha” came out choppy and lacking emotion. I was never a stranger to disappointment. I thought that after all these years, nothing could make me hurt any more than I already have, but l couldn't have been more wrong. My moment of vulnerability when I called him my angel in the nurse’s office had been completely misinterpreted. He had unintentionally hurt me, but his words stabbed me in the heart all the same. I quickly stood up and nearly fell over from how fast my mind was spinning. Kazehaya got up when he saw me start to tip over, and he steadied me with his hand on my forearm. I yanked my arm away from him and mumbled, “I’m sorry, I- I have to go.” 

As I ran I thought about how once again he had rushed to help me, but this kind gesture only added salt to the wound. These weren't acts of love, they were acts of friendship.  
I ran as fast as my legs could take me, not knowing where I was headed. I could hear Kazehaya calling out to me, but the only thing on my mind was that I needed to get away from everyone. I had already made a fool of myself by thinking that there was even a slight possibility that Kazehaya had feelings for me. Risking more humiliation was out of the question, so I continued to plow through the crowds of my peers that were trying to enjoy themselves.

I ended up at an abandoned corner of the park that housed the baseball field. The only thing around was a willowing flower surrounded by dead grass. I sat down and clutched my knees, allowing myself to get swallowed whole by the depression I had been trying to hide. My breathing was erratic, and with each desperate inhale, a tear would land on my knee and travel down my leg. I was well aware that my depression had been with me since the beginning of high school, but I had managed to push it to the back of my mind and not let it affect me too deeply. Back in those days, I still held onto the hope that everyone in the world was a good person, but that some people just made bad decisions. Meeting Kurumi completely shattered that idea and made me accept the bitter truth. I knew the shock waves would hit, but I thought that Kazehaya's protective nature would help keep me in the bubble I had carefully constructed. Kurumi's attacks were already placing too much pressure on my bubble, but Kazehaya's rejection of my love is what popped it for good.  
I began to hyperventilate while crying, and without thinking I clawed at the scarred skin on my arm until it felt raw. The pain was a reminder that I was still alive, and I think that was the most tragic part of all. I did not want to live in a world that was full of hatred, but I had only hurt myself by getting swept up in the idea of a utopia where everyone is loving. It terrified me that I was being thrown into this unforgiving world, because I was already unable to handle the harassment people would put me through while I still lived in the fantasy. I have never had friends to voice my troubles to, and I did not want to burden my parents. Razors became my only allies, calming me down with each cold, sharp swipe.

My body curled into a ball in the middle of the grass, and my tears obscured my vision. I saw the silhouette of someone approaching, and I clawed even faster at the skin on my arm. The person got down on their knees, and their hand slowly reached towards my arm. Their index finger lightly traced the bumpy lines going across my wrist. Each one was thicker and lighter in color than the rest of the skin, and I lied there asking myself why I was letting this person see my darkest secret. They moved their other hand towards my face, and wiped the tears pouring down my cheeks. I had stopped crying long enough to realize that I felt so comfortable with this person because I was lying in front of the man I loved. 

Kazehaya cupped my cheek with his hand and bowed his head while his shoulders shook from his sobs. Each time he tried to look at me, the tears would only come out stronger. He opened his mouth to try and say something, but his voice cracked mid-sentence. Suddenly, he leaned forward and put his head on my side and wrapped his arms around me. He purposefully avoided eye contact when he said, “Sawako...why would you do this to yourself...you don't deserve this.” He paused so he could sniffle and try to will away the tears that wanted to rush out before he continued. “I would have never imagined in my wildest nightmares that you would...hurt yourself like this. I want you to be happy. I really do, even if you don't believe that…” 

Kazehaya then ran his fingers through my hair and tucked the shorter strands behind my ear. He looked at me with an expression of pure sorrow, and it broke my heart to see that I had caused him such pain. I knew I should have just smiled and accepted the fact that he didn't have feelings for me. I had allowed myself to be selfish, and in the process hurt the one person that had been by my side. 

“Sawako, I know I upset you earlier. It wasn't my intention to make you run away and hide. I was just unsure of where we stood, and I didn't want to force my feelings upon you… The truth is, even though I see you as a friend, I constantly think about how I want to be able to hold you in my arms and protect you.” 

I started to cry again, tears going across the bridge of my nose and landing in the dry grass in front of me. I closed my eyes and said, “You don't have to lie. I don't want you to feel like you need to pity me and pretend to like me. I don't deserve you, so please just leave now because this is already too hard…” 

Kazehaya tightened his arms around me and whispered, “I’m never leaving you. I want to always be by your side. I really do like you Sawako.” He sat up and grabbed both of my arms and gave them each a single kiss. “Please don't do this again. If you ever feel sad or angry, even if it's over something you think doesn't matter, I want you to come to me.”  
Something amazing happened in that moment. I had hit my lowest point, and even though I was surrounded by death, Kazehaya’s words warmed my heart and made this abandoned section of the park the most gorgeous place I've ever been to. I slowly pushed myself off the ground, my head pulsing from all of the crying I had been doing. Once I was fully sat up, I reached towards Kazehaya and put my arms around his chest and nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck. He put one arm around my waist so he could pull me closer, and used the other to gently rub my head. 

I had finally found my safe haven.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thank you for reading this! I haven't written any fan fics in a verrryyyyyy long time, but I'm excited to get back into it! I plan on updating this story frequently, so be sure to come back for more! ;)


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